Friday, August 05, 2011

Wine review: Motörhead Shiraz 2009

Although I've covered nearly every aspect of human existence in this blog (haven't I?), I haven't done a wine review yet. I'm running short of ideas. That's why there are so few blog posts. Next I'll probably review a case of lager. Mmm... lager. Consider it done.

Anyway, this here is a bottle of red wine, Motörhead Shiraz 2009 from South Eastern Australia. 750 ml. 13,5%. Some 15 €.


Bouquet

If I'm not totally mistaken, I think I can sense a distinct aroma here. It's... you know... familiar somehow. Beer? No... I'm nearly certain that this liquid smells like red wine. It also smells good. I'll give the bouquet four stars: **** (this really is just stars, not an expletive).

Label

Very stylish. This must be the most awesome label on a wine bottle I've ever seen. Definitely more awesome than the one on the Whitesnake wine. In fact, I predict that there shall never be a more awesome label on a wine bottle. After all, Lemmy is God. Five stars: ***** (not to be confused with 5 Star).

Taste (1st glass)

Tastes good. I like wine. Although, with Motörhead, you'd expect the taste to be more brutal. Now it's kind of just very slightly brutal. But hey, it's wine! Four stars: ****

Cork

Not a cork cork, but of the other kind, you know, with threads. One made out of METAL. Very fitting. Five stars: *****

Taste (2nd glass)

Still god. I mean good. Possibly even better. For some reason I'm beginning to feel euphoric.

Music

Awesome. Of course, I'm listening to Motörhead while reviewing. I like this reviewing stuff. I wonder if one could make a living out of reviewing things in a blog. Anyway, Motörhead is common knowledge, and therefore should not be taught in schools. Because kids resent the music taught in school. At least I did. Unless music lessons of today are like in the movie School of Rock. Then it perhaps could be argued that they should teach Motörhead.

But wait a minute because I've got to review the Taste of the 3rd glass: yep, still good. 5 stars: *****hiccup.

Where was I? Oh yeah, the music. Listening to Motörhead on the free version of Spotify kind of tends to spoil the mood though, because in between every other song there are annoying advertisements. Like for something called Pitbull. Is the bald, white guy the Pitbull? What kind of youth music is that supposed to be: of the street credible, hard kind or the sugary, night club lover kind of crap? I can't tell. In fact, I don't even want to know.

Perhaps I should start paying for my music, and get rid of the ads though.

Taste (fjord4 glass)

Excellent. This wine definitely ages well. I'm giving 6 stars: ******

Videos

Did you know that Motörhead also holds several world record titles, such as "The Loudest Group On Earth", "The Awesomest Singer Ever", "The Awesomest Bassist Ever", and my favourite, "The Hardest Metal Video Ever". The last one was awarded, of course, for the video to the song Sacrifice:



I believe that the video is exactly what Lemmy wanted. I have no idea what the hell it is about, but it frightens me for real. (In case you insist, the 2nd Hardest Metal Video Ever is Progenies Of The Great Apocalypse by Dimmu Borgir, which also frightens me slightly.)

Taste (yet another glass)

Oh well. I'd planned on going for sports in the morning, but I'm not sure if I can after all this Motörhead. You see I can type prettty well still though so it can't be too bad though some sentences might be incohomprehensiblehibly... well... whit the punctuation and whatever...

I'm not erasing anything though, and when there's so little Motörhead left, I'm not going to bed either until it's finished. Consider thsi a human experiment, on real human.

The taste seems rather excellent. Perhaps there really is a difference between the more expensive wines and the cheapest ones that I usually drink. Or then there's the chance that my judgement has been compromised. Either way, I just thought of an interesting criterium for a wine review: do your teeth get less coloured by a more expensive wine? I'll just go to the mirror to see.

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What? Sorry, forgot to check the teeth. I just automatically pissed in the bathroom. Please, bear with me.

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Yes, I just checked the teeth, as well as the lips, and it does in fact seem that they weren't coloured too much by the wine. Perhaps oh fuck

Taste (final half glass)

There's only half a glass left? Such a pity. This wine is so good that I might have consumed even more. On the other hand, I have consumed much larger quantities of wines of lesser qualities. Therefore, it might be argued that the quality of the wine consumed corresponds in no way whatsoever to the quantity consumed. And I hear, that in the supposedly civilized countries, they spit out the wine while tasting. What a horrible waste of perfectly good wine.

Just one beer to follow up

Luckily, there's still beer in the fridge. Martens Gold III, you know, the cheapest one they have in the local markets these days. Tastes like any other lager though. Five stars it is: *****

Perhaps I should review the hangover next. Although it might be hard to distinguish which part results from whichever drink.

Also, I just watched the Sacrifice video again, and I'm scared. War is hell. If I have nightmares it'll be my own fault.

2 comments:

Bugg said...

I must say that I enjoyed reading your wine review. I normally get bored reading the majority of those sorts of things, which is probably due to the fact that spitting it out really does take away all the fun. And how many wine reviews end with beer? Excellent!

Personally, I tend to use wine more for cooking than drinking and will select a wine based on how cheap it is and what it will taste like when heated up in combination with bacon, rosemary, vegetables and Arborio rice. When I actually drink wine, I tend to get very silly very quickly (I have a ridiculously low alcohol tolerance). I have, however, taken a liking to Glühwein since the beginning of this winter.

Jimbo said...

Splendid wine review, my friend. I almost went and ordered some Motörhead Shiraz from our Finnish alcohol monopoly, because it is not sold there other than as orderable item (six pack of wine, about 90 euros, umm, well, maybe some other day)...but yeah, good shiraz is good shiraz - which I learned last autumn through long dark cold Finnish winter from my lovely now-ex-girlfriend, who loves a bit of wine now and then, and shiraz is the grape to choose, I noticed. But your review had a different effect on me too: I started to plan - and bit of write too - a beer-reviewing blog of my own. I'm a beer lover, so maybe I just buy some golden nectar for 90 euros instead :) It may still be, that when the winter hits, red wine starts to rock again - like did Motörhead in that hell-of-a video, which I saw for the first time. Quite heavy, I must say, much heavier than those clowns in makeup.